The Fog

On a crisp winter morning you wake up, feeling invigorated and ready to take on the world. Leisurely, breakfast is prepared and enjoyed with your spouse. With a kiss and hug good-bye, you walk out the door only to realize there is a thick fog that goes on for miles. Immediately, you begin to fear how you will accomplish the task so carefully planned the night before. Knowing your ability to stay home safely tucked under your covers isn’t an option so with trepidation, you get in your car and begin to back out of the driveway. Cautiously, with headlights on, slowly you drive down the street. The only safety you feel comes from the familiarity of the streets that would lead you to your destination. To your surprise, there were multiple accidents along the way, people not driving with their headlights, which increased your anxious feeling and wanting to just get to your destination. As you crossed the bridge that toke you to the other side of town, the sun brightly shone in your eyes and brought hope to a fearful heart. You arrived safely to your destination even though it took double the time to get there. The question arises, “How can you get to the other side of the bridge where there is no fog?”

Think back to the day your child was diagnosed with special needs. Did you feel like you were driving in thick fog as you contemplated what would come of your child? What will people think? Did I do something wrong? Maybe if I didn’t…….? Will my husband/wife blame me for their disability? How will I be able to accomplish it all? What will come of my relationship with my spouse? Much like turning on your headlights in the fog, what may seem like dim lights, often is just enough light to lead the way. Driving slow and with caution, will lengthen the journey but the goal is to see the rays of sunshine. Along the way, there will be trials where the fog seems to thicken. It is moments like this, that drawing upon the familiarity of the streets you drive will bring you added peace.

Finding ways to continue nurturing the relationship with your spouse is the ray of sunshine which peaks through the dense fog and guides you to safety. The familiarity of their arms wrapped tightly around you, with encompassing love, are like the streets you drive in the fog.  During the trials of parenting a special needs child, the marital relationship can be strained as each partner handles the situation in different ways. The responsibility of “who will do what” can easily overshadow even the most basic nurturing of the marital relationship.

The purpose of this blog is to provide little ray of sunshine ideas on how to strengthen the marriage relationship. Whether it be big or small, it is recognizing that by developing your relationship, the rays of sunshine will become brighter and brighter and lead the way, even when the fog seems heavy.

“No marriage is all sunshine, but two people can share the same umbrella if they huddle close”

-Samuel Britten