Friday, June 12, 2015

Never Giving Up

Resilience comes as we focus on the good that can result from never giving up.

(My son at age 2 walking with his new ankle foot orthodics.)

My son was diagnosed with Spastic Quad Cerebral Palsy when he was a year old. The doctors told us that he would not “amount to much” and my husband and I would be taking care of him for the rest of our lives. I remember walking to the car in a daze trying to grasp what that meant for my son. As I drove out of the parking lot with tears streaming down my face, the realization came that my family would define a “new normal.” Although it was overwhelming to think about the future, I was willing to do anything to ensure he would receive the best possible care.

Over the course of the next year and through lots of physical therapy, my son began to reach milestones that were once a dream. The first step he took showed resilience beyond what anyone could have imagined. The Webster dictionary defines resilience as, “the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens.” When Joshua was 3 years old, we were leaving my brother’s house after a family gathering. As he stepped down off the porch, Josh fell flat on his face. The motherly instinct was to run and “save him.” Before I could get there, he cautiously struggled to get back on his feet and stepped back onto the porch to try again. As I stood there and watched him, my heart flooded with pure love for his determination and reminded me that resilience comes as we focus on the good that can result from not giving up.

In marriage relationships, how can we focus on the good that comes from not giving up? There will be times in your relationship where it feels like the ground has become your best friend. No matter how hard you try to get up, “you just keep falling.” Whether it be communication, financial, or other personal or relationship related struggles, the ability to learn how to come to the rescue of your spouse and build trust is the beauty of true companionship.

Now, if only it were that easy to look for the good in each other when you’re in the midst of the struggle. The renowned marriage expert, John Gottman, has studied marital relationships for over 40 years. During this time, his focus on marriage stability and divorce prediction has earned him numerous awards. In the following clip, he emphasizes the importance of building trust with your spouse in the little moments.



As we seek to find the little moments in our relationships to build trust, resilience from the face plants will be quicker and the good will result from never giving up.


"The best proof of love is TRUST."


Stay-at-Home-Date 

It's time to become one with the ground together as a couple in a positive way. Find a place in your home, outside or at a nearby park to have a romantic picnic. Bring some of your favorite finger foods that you can feed each other. During this time, discuss ways to learn how to build trust in your relationship. 

Following are some fun picnic ideas and some activities you can do to build trust in your relationship. Click on the links to be directed to a new page.





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