Deeply Rooted

Journey with me as I share with you a story about a special tree.

Once upon a time, there was a doctor who opened a new dentistry practice. He was excited about what the future held for both his patients and the practice. Being that people are fearful of going to the dentist, he wanted to do everything he could to make the office inviting. In front of the building there was a section of dirt that was just the right size to plant a tree. After talking with a tree specialist at the nursery, he picked out a tree that would not only provide shade but had beautiful pink flowers. It was perfect. Eagerly, on the way home, the doctor contacted his gardener and set up a time he could come plant the tree. Cheerfully, the gardener showed up the next morning. The moment he looked at the patch of dirt, hesitation quickly came over his face. Concerned, the doctor asked if everything was okay. The gardener then proceeded to inform the doctor that the location he wanted to plant the tree wasn’t good enough. “How can that be?” replied the doctor. “It’s has just the right amount of room for the trunk.” As much as the gardener tried to explain the proper conditions for a tree to be able to firmly plant its roots, the doctor was insistent that he plant the tree and it would be just fine. The gardener understood the tree needed more space and deeper soil but he planted the tree anyway. The gardener staked the tree with some twine and a pole to provide extra support. 

A year had passed and the tree seemed to be holding strong. The dentist loved to walk past his beautiful tree each morning as was proud of his choice. He felt the time spent pruning and watering it on his lunch hour was helping the tree to be deeply rooted. It was a success! Not long after, there was a major thunderstorm that produced 3 inches of rain and lots of wind. A few weeks after the storm, the doctor noticed the tree was starting to lean to the left. With the help of his dental assistant, they staked the tree again with the hopes it would provide even more support. The recent storm eroded some of the soil so the dentist placed more around the base of the tree. 

A few months passed after staking the tree. It helped the tree from leaning further to the left but it didn’t stand as tall as it used too. One evening, the doctor was watching the news and heard the biggest storm of the season was going to hit over the next few days. Wind, rain and hail were being forecasted. The doctor wasn’t worried about his tree. He had done all he could to take care of it. Over the weekend the storm hit with a vengeance and caused damage to many areas. The doctor arrived at his office to find his precious tree had fallen down. He thought, “How could it be? I had staked, pruned and watered the tree. I did all I could do.” As he looked closer at the tree, the doctor realized the roots were very short. He then thought back to what the gardener had warned him of before planting the tree. Although, the tree looked healthy and strong on the outside, the roots didn’t firmly plant into the ground, which caused the tree to fall during the storm.

It is inevitable that every marriage relationship will hit the “storms of life.” The question is, “What have you done to deeply root your relationship to withstand the challenges?” The dentist thought he had done all he needed to do to ensure the tree would stand tall. Over time, as it began to lean, he staked it again to make it stronger. What he didn’t realize was that no matter how much he tried to stabilize the tree, the roots were not deep enough and the tree was eventually going to fall. Sometimes, watering, pruning and staking a marriage isn’t going to be enough. Steps need to be taken to deeply root the relationship so when the storms of life hit, the marriage doesn’t fall apart. 

What specific ways can a couple deeply root their marriage? 

• Make your marriage a priority. When life is busy, schedule time for each other and commit to set aside all other obligations and focus on each other. This can be difficult when caring for special needs children. It is important to try and plan ahead. 
• Find ways to serve one another
• Take turns planning a weekly date night. This can be a “retreat at home date” or a “dash into the         night date.” 
• Replace “me” with “we”
• Laugh
• Celebrate each other’s successes
• Share common goals
• Explore intimacy
• Support each other in raising the children
• Understand the true meaning of love
• Don’t be afraid of the challenges your marriage relationship will face

Retreat-at-Home Date Idea:

Plan an hour to visit a local nursery with your spouse to choose a tree that you will plant together in the backyard. Taking turns, dig a hole large enough to place the tree. Prepare the ground in a way that will give the tree the best chance for the roots to take hold. Discuss ways that each of you can contribute to caring for the tree together. Make it a priority while working together to discuss ways to deeply root your marriage. In conclusion, find a long piece of wood and paint the date on it as a reminder to your commitment to deeply root your marriage relationship and stake it in front of the tree. 

As an alternative, if you don’t have space in your backyard for a tree, locate an agency or your local city and inquire of the possibility of planting trees to help the environment. The following list are agencies that can get you started in locating where you can donate and plant a tree. Take time once a year to visit the location where the tree was planted and check on the progress and growth of the tree. 

Tree Date Idea One

Tree Date Idea Two