Follow the Yellow Brick Road to Mindfulness

Imagine you’re skipping along the yellow brick road singing, “Cell phones, IPods, Work, Appointments, Kids Oh My! Cell phones, IPods, Work, Appointments, Kids Oh My! Cell phones, IPods, Work, Appointments, Kids Oh My!” Do you feel overwhelmed at the prospect of what is on you’re to do list for the day? Did you notice the flowers that lined the path or take notice of who is skipping alongside of you? Or do your eyes remain fixed on what lies ahead? How many times have you thought to yourself, “It will be better when…?  “My spouse and I will be happier when …? I wish I had time to…”

Simply put, life is BUSY! Trying to fulfill all your obligations and meet the needs of others, particularly your special needs child, can wear you down to the point of exhaustion. Often, it feels like there isn’t time to enjoy life because you are too busy living it. The question then arises, how can we skip down the yellow brick road accomplishing our daily tasks while living in the moment and enjoying the journey? More importantly, how can we enjoy the journey of life walking alongside our spouses?

Recently, I was reading about the practice of mindfulness. Psychology Today defines mindfulness as, “A state of active, open attention on the present. When you’re mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them for good or bad. Instead of letting life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.” In simple terms, it is how we cultivate awareness of the mind and body and live in the here and now.

The distractions of today can make it difficult to live in the here and now. What specific distractions in your relationship with your spouse make it more difficult to live and enjoy the moment? Imagine, you are given a day to spend with your spouse without distractions. The kids are well cared for and the money tree grew enough “green stuff” for endless opportunities. What would you choose to do with your spouse? How easy would it be for you to leave behind the worries of daily life and solely focus on each other?

When Scott and Amanda* met in their early twenties, the world stopped around them. They understood the art of mindfulness and relished in enjoying every moment of life as a newly married couple. They could stop and enjoy the flowers along the path of the yellow brick road. Five years into their marriage, they had a son who was diagnosed with special needs. Over time, the couple lost the ability to find joy in everyday living. Slowly, they drifted apart and began to focus more on the busyness of life and less on each other. Scott ended up having an affair, seeking attention from anyone who would validate the stress in his life. Instead of taking the time to stop and focus on the threats to their relationship in the moment, they drifted further apart. Two years later, Scott and Amanda are relearning how to cultivate awareness individually and as a couple. Slowly, they are beginning to not only see the flowers along the path but to actually stop and smell them. The journey has been hard but it's taught them that it is possible to redefine their relationship and focus the here and now.

(*Names have been changed )

It is by learning to embrace your fears that you find your heart.

Dash-into-the-Night Date: 

What better way to connect and live in the moment than by attending a yoga class together. This can be done either at a studio or in the comfort of your own home. If you haven't even done yoga, it is an opportunity to connect with your inner-self and your spouse. After attending yoga, discuss as a couple what specific ways becoming one with each other can benefit living in the here and now. Select one area of focus to work on for the next week to change the busyness of life into pure enjoyment in the moment. End the date with a yummy frozen yogurt!